


you always have your way (will we be always?)

by huntressed



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, TW: Implied Emotional Abuse, tw: alcohol dependency, tw: bullying, tw: eating disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntressed/pseuds/huntressed
Summary: According to numerous sources from their school, Artemis Crock was the devil herself. Though she wasn’t exactly pure evil, she might as well be with the snobbish attitude she demonstrated and the greater-than-thou personality that she held over everyone’s heads. Little did they know, they barely just scratched the surface of whom Artemis Lian Crock truly is.





	you always have your way (will we be always?)

**00.**

**SHE WAS A FORCE OF NATURE.** Everyone knew that, and she cultivated it with every single bone in her body. The people all around them knew that she was not to be messed with, never to be insulted (because then, they’d get dragged afterwards), and never to be talked-back to. According to numerous sources from their school, Artemis Crock was the devil herself. Though she wasn’t exactly pure evil, she might as well be with the snobbish attitude she demonstrated and the greater-than-thou personality that she held over everyone’s heads.

            Little did they know, they barely just scratched the surface of whom Artemis Lian Crock truly is.

 

**01.**

**HER MOTHER’S LOWER HALF WAS PARALYZED.** That happened during her senior year of high school, and it broke her to think that the woman who was strong enough to endure her father’s bullshit was weakened to the point where she had to wheel around in the house all day. Her father didn’t look distraught, nor did he seem to care that Paula Crock was shot in the spine by an unknown person.

            Anger and rage filled her up. She was angry at her father for treating her and Jade as if they were nothing more than objects he could use to win a goddamn game. She was angry at her father for not being angry at the man who physically disabled her mother. She was angry at her father because he was _him,_ and there was no way for him to change.

            Tears were close to staining her cheeks, but she held her head up high and walked into a party in some football player’s house. The neckline of her dress was cut into a low V (though she was certain that the cuts her father made on her emotional upbringing was deeper than the neckline of the dress she wore), and her heels were sky-high. It was higher than the expectations her father had set for her, and even higher than the ones she had set for herself. Most importantly, they were sharp enough to kill a man, that gave Artemis a twisted sense of satisfaction.

            A killer smile was fakely plastered on her face as she walked into the room. All eyes were on her and she was slowly enjoying the attention and the number of eyes following her every move. But that really wasn’t the reason why she came, it wasn’t for attention just like the others. It was more of a plea to forget whatever the hell happened back at home and to divert her mind off to the endless plethora of alcoholism, and partying.

            Somewhere at the back of the room, girls were whispering about her. Her ears picked up on the harshly traded words about her, and she immediately confronted the clueless girls. That’s what she was good at anyway, _ruining lives._ It’s what she was taught to do by her good-for-nothing father. To just _destroy_ everything that came in her way, and to feel no remorse after she had done it.

            “Excuse me, but I’m pretty sure that you girls were taught manners by your parents when you were little. Do you mind repeating every single bit of what you just said _to my face_ instead of whispering behind my back?” Every single word was drawled out slowly, followed by a smile at the end of words. A sickly sweet smile that was bordering on frightening.

            The bottle-blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow and called her a _“slut”_ straight to her face, which Artemis responded with her chin held high and her body straightened into her full height. “Now I’d really like to prove to you how much I shouldn’t be messed with, but considering your lack of vocabulary and horrible taste when it comes to insults, I really don’t want to waste my time.” She rolled her eyes, but slowly walked towards the girl until she was close enough to whisper directly into the girl’s ear.

            “I will have no remorse, whatsoever, if I see you trying to mess with me next time. And if that happens, you’ll wish you were never even born in the first place.” Her words were as cold as ice and she could feel the girl trembling from in front of her.

            To be frank, she wasn’t really done with the girl. She was ready to release every single bit of pent-up anger and frustration on this clueless and completely idiotic girl, but then she was dragged by the forearm and the next thing she knew, she was in the bathroom with Dick.

            “What the hell are you doing?” She spat, frustrated and irritated

            “Preventing you from unleashing hell,” He answered, “and making sure that a girl doesn’t die because she was frightened to death.”

            “Can you goddamn believe she called me a slut? I know I basically sleep around but that doesn’t give her the right to make assumptions based on the very few facts she’s aware of.” Artemis rolled her eyes and sat inside the tub, there was a bottle of vodka in Dick’s right hand and Artemis quickly snatched it before he could even complain.

            Understanding was screaming from his eyes, and Artemis couldn’t find it within herself to look at those blue eyes. When she was young, when she saw the way her mother and father fought and looked at each other in disgust, Artemis knew that there was no point in building intimate and emotionally investing relationships. Just the physicality of it all was enough for her.

            But he was crossing that line between just a physical attachment to becoming some kind of therapy for her. Sometimes, Artemis would find herself telling him enough about herself under the influence of alcohol, and they would fuck afterwards. However, she never told him about the state of her emotional well-being, and the situation at home with or without liquid courage. Artemis hoped she would never have to do so.

            He took his seat at the edge of the tub, his feet placed firmly inside of it where Artemis was currently sitting. A sigh came past his lips and he looked at Artemis in such a gentle and understanding way that it _scared_ her.

            “Come here.” Dick spoke, his voice was so low that it was merely a whisper.

            She was stubborn though. The blonde remained firmly on where she was sitting and rolled her eyes at Dick even if her insides were twisting and coiling and so close to giving up their iron clad armor just for him.

            “Come on, Artemis. It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

            Another eye-roll was given, but she found herself straddling him anyway. She was sitting on his lap with her legs on his sides her hands placed on his shoulders. Her hold on him was so tight and to be completely honestly, she wasn’t sure if she was holding him because she wanted him, or if it was because she was afraid that he’d leave.

            Whatever the answer was, Artemis didn’t want to admit it. So she bit his lip and left marks across his shoulders instead.

 

**02.**

 

 **JADE WAS BETTER.** It hurt Artemis to know that she always has to be in competition with her sister. Competitiveness wasn’t really one of her core traits, but it was drilled inside her head to never stop until she was sure that it was her who’s dominant. Teachings that came from her father. Artemis knew that each and every word that came out of her father’s mouth was pure bullshit, and that no one should be out to get every single person who came into their way. But alas, one should never really talk back to Lawrence Crock. He was as bad as the devil, if he wasn’t really one himself.

            A few years later, Artemis laughed at how badly her father corrupted her. She turned exactly like him out of spite, and it was funnier how she didn’t exactly want to admit it to herself, but she knew full well that it was the way she actually turned out.

            There was a bottle of beer clasped in her hand as she swayed her hips in the ultraviolet scene of the underground bar somewhere in Palo Alto. A smirk was placed perfectly on her red painted lips and she was gazing at the man sitting by the bar with a predatory look on her small, lined eyes. Without further ado, she walked towards him, hips moving in synchronization with her legs.

            Recognition flashed across his face before he managed to put back a stoic, yet observant expression back. Her brown eyes were challenging his blue ones as they stared at each other, both seated by the bar.

            Artemis knew him ever since they were in high school. They were roughly the same age, with her only being older than him for a couple of months. He was smart, and really bright. She meant that in such a way that he could turn every single dying topic into a blooming conversation filled with candy-pink dreams and illusions.

            “Don’t be so hard-to-get, Grayson.” Her words fluttered past her blood-red lips as she looked at him coyly. Matching red-painted fingernails are tapping against the glass table, and hungry eyes are looking at him with a huge amount of yearning.

            “So it’s true that you do not conform to gender norms. Usually, girls are the ones to play hard to get.” He shrugged, but she knew him as well as the palm of her hand. He’d give in sooner or later, they were both aware of that.

            But for now, she played push and pull with him. Like a tug-of-war between two kids, except both were equally competitive and hungry for the prize. Though the prize wasn’t always clear between the two of them, they always went along. Both of them weren’t really keen on saying it out loud, but it has been a routine ever since she managed to sway her hips into his life during their junior year of high school. They would sleep with each other every chance they get with the mutual understanding that no emotional attachments would be formed.

            A few minutes later, Artemis’ back was pressed against the wooden door of Dick Grayson’s apartment. His teeth grazed her neck which elicited a soft moan from the blonde who was currently revelling in his touch.

            “Don’t hold back, Grayson.” She slurred, because she wasn’t used to gentle. She was used to people never holding back when it came to her, it was also the reason why she never really held back on anyone. Maybe it’s a flaw, maybe it wasn’t.

            She closed her eyes and allowed Dick Grayson to unzip her dress from behind her.

 

**03.**

 

 **HER SISTER RAN AWAY.** Poof. Just disappeared in thin air. Jade was the only person to understand her and every single actions she had done. Two weeks after her father compared the two of them once more and pitted them against each other. Despite her father’s endless attempts of putting the two sisters in competition, they only ever obeyed for show. Sometimes they would scream at each other just to make sure that Lawrence had a reason to shut up about them, but they still loved each other.

            However, all the love was drained away from her system when Jade didn’t come home for about a week. Her heart was breaking, even if she repeatedly denies that she has one, she still felt it bleeding out of her ribcage. The toxic blood dripping on each of her ribs, flowing down to her abdomen, drowning her.

            Losing Jade was one of the most emotionally damaging experience she ever had (along with her mother’s disability), and Artemis wasn’t quite sure if sleeping with Dick or any other person would fix this.

            Out of desperation, she turned to alcohol. Every day was an abundance of different bottles from the liquor store a few blocks from their suburban house. Lawrence couldn’t care less about her developing drinking habits, he had one himself. In the deepest darkest corners of her brain, she thought that maybe her father was proud that she was the one to turn out like him. Fucked-up. An alcoholic. Too angry.

            (Artemis never their house a home. For homes were safe, nurturing, and supportive ー and that was something their house could never have. That’s why she never called it more than a “house”.It was just a physical establishment made for inhabitation, no love present within the walls. Not anymore.)

            She was found drinking in the same club from two weeks ago. Purple neon lights were all over the place and she was drowning in ultraviolet beauty. She looked beautiful, despite being so broken and desperate to be alright.

            “Where’s your signature smirk, Crock?” A familiar voice said from behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to look at him to know who he was. He moaned and called her name enough times for her to recognize the sound of his voice.

            “It ain’t here. Go fuck yourself, Grayson.” Harsh. Her tone was harsh. But she knew Dick was used to it.

            “I’ll listen.”

            Even if the bar was too loud, the entire place turned quiet to her. She could hear Dick breathing and she could feel the anticipation radiating off him, and she wanted to scream at him. They never talked about what Artemis was feeling, even if Dick would sometimes try to amuse her about a silly anecdote of his antics with Wally West, Artemis never caved enough to tell him about the deep stuff. The ones that she would tell Jade, or a bottle of Smirnoff.

            She wanted to cry as she slowly felt all the problems crawling out her chest. All her efforts of trying to hide all her emotional pain was now being threatened, and she didn’t want that. She wanted to keep up the image of being this two-faced, pretentious bitch everyone knew and secretly admired. It was toxic and really mean, but she worked so damn hard to build that up. Dick Grayson shouldn’t challenge to bring those walls down.

            But her insides were softening at his touch. The tip of his fingers touched her hand, and eventually, her hand was encased in his. Artemis hated that she felt safe and secure. Her life motto was to avoid emotional attachments at all costs, yet there she was, finding some kind of emotional investment with Dick Grayson.

            “Let’s just do this the way we used to.” She told him, there was an underlying tone of pleading in her voice, and she hoped that Dick didn’t catch on it.

            “Alright. I won’t force you.” He responded.

            That night was the gentlest he’d ever been, and somehow, Artemis found herself crying when he was finally asleep beside her.

 

**04.**

**EATING DISORDERS CAME SHORTLY AFTER.** She didn’t really know when she started becoming conscious of the way she looked like. It was a gradual development, to be frank. Every day she’d start to eat less and less, and then the next thing she knew, she was doing everything to make sure that all the food she ate was immediately burned off.

            Again, Lawrence didn’t care and she finally moved out so Paula wouldn’t breathe over her neck. She still went to all of her classes and aced it like a pro, because even though her bad habits tend to get the best of her, she would never let them get in the way of her studies.

            The most amount of food she had gotten for the entire day is an apple, and she was already running to burn all of what she ate off. Until she saw Dick walking with a redhead. He was laughing, and she stopped dead in her tracks. It has been a month since she last hooked up with him, and nothing more than the occasional text of “yeah I’m fine” were shared between them. So it was safe to say that this had her taken aback.

            Her eyes were locked with his and he immediately approached her with a bright smile on his face. Tears almost spilled out of her eyes.

            “Hey!” He greeted.

            _We never talk to each other in public_ was her only response.

           “I don’t see why we shouldn’t start doing so, though.” He shrugged, a book about politics still clutched in his left hand.

            Surprisingly, she didn’t disagree even if she really wanted to. There was this light in Dick Grayson’s eyes that she didn’t want to stop seeing. Even if he was with this redhead.

            “I have to go.” Artemis told him and briefly made an excuse about looking for her History professor. He looked disappointed, but Artemis didn’t care. She wanted to get away as fast as she can.

            A moment later, Dick texted her: _Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re losing weight._

            She wanted to scream because he noticed, and she didn’t want him to.

            _I’m fine. Just college taking its toll on me._ She rep _(lied)_.

            _Are you sure? Come hang with me. Same bar from last month._ He texted again.

            Artemis wanted to stop and withdraw from their tug-of-war, to surrender and tell him that he could finally have his own way because she’s holding up the white flag and didn’t want to see him anymore. However, she found herself putting on a tight dress and swiping red lipstick over her lips a few minutes later.

            After a lot of tequila shots and teases from Dick, they fell back into their previous routine. He was gentle. She wasn’t. She wanted to get rid of all the anger and she did it during their rendezvous. After this, she wouldn’t bother Dick anymore.

            “Tell me what’s really wrong, Artemis.” The sound of her name on his lips made her weak, and she found herself giving in.

            “ _Everything._ ” Although it was vague, it was true to the bone.

            “I hope you know that I’m here.”

            That was the moment she realized that she needed to detach herself right away if she didn’t want another heartbreak. Even if Dick managed to fill the gaping hole inside her chest, she knew that one day, he’d go. Nobody is ever permanent, and Artemis learned that the hard way. Jade left. Her father was emotionally destructive. Her mother couldn’t even take care of herself properly. Artemis knew that she was just as doomed as they all were.

            Besides, she’d be doing Dick a favor by distancing herself from him.

            She clung to him tighter than she ever did before, because this would be the last time that she would let herself fall into him. It was the last time she would ever let him fill the gaping hole in her chest.

 

**05.**

 

 **DICK KEPT ON TEXTING HER.** He finally caught on that something was wrong, but Artemis Crock was resilient. She didn’t come through, never replied, never called back.

            He didn’t know what went wrong, or what he did to make her pull away, and he felt like a part of him was missing. However, their encounters were enough to make him see that there was so much more to the blonde than the fake image she presented to the rest of the world.

            He saw her soul, and he saw a glimpse of how fragile and damaged he is. Back when she cried while she thought he was asleep, he consciously held her closer to him that moment because well, that was his way of protecting her from the horrors of the world.

            Although Artemis could very well protect herself, Dick wasn’t really sure if she could cope with all her troubles properly. He only picked up on the self-destructive behaviour sometime during their encounter when he told her that he would listen. No one ever withheld information from him before. But now he understood that Artemis rarely ever talked about what’s happening because she didn’t want to or because he didn’t ask, it was because she was hiding it and didn’t want to be reminded of it.

            Maybe he didn’t do it right, maybe he wasn’t being gentle enough when he asked. Because now he couldn’t find any trace of her and it’s already the summer before their final year of college. If he didn’t see her again before graduation, who’s to say that he’ll still see her again after?

            Artemis became a huge part of his life, from high school to college. Even if they weren’t really official, or even emotionally invested in one another (that was just him), he still felt as if there was a huge part that was missing from his life when she detached herself from him.

            It was frustrating, and he wasn’t sure if he’ll ever see her again.

            So he settled for the thought that maybe a few years later, he’ll find her again, and he would do this right. He would do everything it takes to make her feel comfortable enough to share the emotional baggage she had been carrying with her.

            Or maybe, in an alternate universe, she would have been his, just like the way he was hers without her knowing. He wanted her, but she was gone, and maybe he was stupid for thinking that they would have their _always,_ but to his defense, he was young and dumb and was on the verge of falling in love. He couldn’t really blame himself for that.

            Dick never stopped looking for Artemis in every crowd after that.


End file.
